by Old table

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(free) 02:25


released July 23, 2011

Old table is Will Table VOX GUITAR, Argyle Zandolis SLAP BASS, Jonothan Shea Edelstien BONGOS with , Rebecca Chair-Table, Kate Ferencz, Kira Sassano, Sam Neumetalbart, Amy Beth Barf, Kevin Gilmartin, zTEve Yankou, The KY, Geoff, Borgsman, Roberto "Bobbo the Robbo" Yankou, GI Jason, and secret Track by James Landrum Jesse Carstens Emily and Faith Dawg.

Recorded at Paul Shaffer's House Bronx NY 2010-2011 by The KY & The Wills.

All songs copyright Old table 2011.

Photo by Morgan Papas.




Old table Tuckahoe, New York

Like most things, Old table is a conspiracy: the bermuda triangle, 9-11, the green party, lizard people, reptillians, the loch ness monster, creasy boy one, Van Morrison and vanessa carlton. Keep on rockin in the tri-state.


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Track Name: Prince Albert
1. Prince Albert
Prince Albert You can Put him in a can send him off to nam strap him to a rocket turn them pigs to ham/ you can push him out to sea the can's just floating free with a big book of statistics of unsolved burgalaries/ with a dunce cap on his head wishing he was dead, making love with nothing munchin on a pieace of bread, munchin on a piece of bread oh Prince albert
Oh you got a lovely birthday queen prince, yea you gotta kiss her on the spleen, ooh the 'fridgerator's runnin' clean prince, oh you best catch it hatch a scheme, pick the best of the batch prince albert
With his liver on his lap, and the sunbeams on his cap, he's just a rambling liason, with an expired travel map yea you want to take control, by gerrymandering his soul, shining off the best parts to come out smiling for the whole, yea you put him in a can, store him next to spam, but he'll work it all on out himself emerge a different man, peel back peel back the top of the can prince albert
Track Name: Mary Poppins Trash Compactor
Living in a box with a sundreanched top and the superintendent wants a cut of your trash heap, leave some outside and he'll scamper away with it flying from his mouth and a bird smacks a window, what's there to do today what can we burn how about that plastic toys r us bag? first let me hoist it above my head and pretend I'm Mary Poppins Out in the wind
Ok Burn it now
I took a walk with my Rat friend to town and all that I saw were a THOUSAND ravens, darting around in different directions with some telephone poles and a gray square building the sky was feeling a dark shade of blue and the cars gathered 'round like oblivious light bulbs, I muttered a breath to the rat in my hand and I set back moon walking back to the dump
Track Name: Russian Dustbowl
I sat down to the show, watching the ponies go, round and round in a row, all screaming neigh, stubbed the dirt with a toe, plucked a potato, then threw it at a rock, I'm feeling good. Russia's Runnin' I Liked a spider once, turned me into a dunce, I was always doing stunts, then she wrapped me up, I took some time off from hating everyone, now I'm back into it, I feel like myself, Russia's Runnin'
Track Name: Diligent Mess
Diligent Mess squandered yet another game of chess aroused a pest, loudly shouting leave my thing alone, rest me to the bone, All works for the best, left me here to run this parking lot who makes the tests, why can't turtle write his name in stone? Take away the bone. Hootie has his land, Blowfish built a bridge out to Japan what a ham, I never thought a pig could spin so good, apple splits the wood, You really got me now, got me shouting wowowowow I have a cow, I'm walking it into an open wound, let's meet again for dinner soon. Yow!
Track Name: Slackjaw
Marissa signed off on her clone, her brain flees yet another sagging sack of bones, she had been saving for so long, she hadn't been this close to death since she was young, next week she'll reach the age of Three Hundred and Ten. It'll feel exquisite just to bathe all by herself again. Each cell inside her soul was prepared for the switch, the operation sailed save one small hitch, a SLACKJAW. Marissa went to bars alone, hovercrafts flew above her dome, looked for a man with enough credits for a beer, her brand new vessel had been aged 14 whole years, the body ripe and taught and ready to be touched, found a white old man programmed for lust, he taped up her SLACKJAW. Caught a ride flew down the bend, uncomfortablility became a friend, she wanted more she wanted less, she couldn't keep that mandible from rest. a SLACKJAW
Track Name: In A Frosty Pass
In a frosty Pass, felled my sleep so that I'd wake up aghast, oh and what I'd seen, a silhouette in white a-following me, oh, stitched the colonel's gash, laid him down and sopped his blood with my sash, had a lucid dream, I was a ferret bursting forth at the seams, oh, lifting up the flag for the brave, lifting up the flag for the wedding maids, claiming little rocks at the raid, dying for your hamlet in the shit brigades, oh, Chopped the beech's Mast, made a rope and choked to smoke my fast, tasted like a beet, glanced in the water must've stained my teeth, oh, how I eat the frosty snow.
Track Name: Spaghetti
When you forget part of your brain, will it still be the same tomorrow, needs water let it rain, a little bit of public pain, clamoring for a campfire, nude fiddlings with out shame. Why prescribe? Nobody lies to themselves ever. You can't cry. Why O-Why? And how can you flee? Why can't you look at me? Baroque conquerings down the lane, all along your watchtower, I just love you keep me sane.
Track Name: Maximum Grip Commander
Little Steven wonders why he has to die die die die die at the head of the table, fork in chicken pot pie, and now Judy wants to go ho ho ho ho ho ho ho, anywhere that she wants and she can, if no one wants to know, and the captain turns the wheel, and the passengers all reel, humingbird spits up it's meal, little Judith's first high heels. Now Big Baby Steven has new clothes jumping through hoops in the snow and he always does his dance before the training whistle blows, and now Judy's found her man and she loves as best she can, but as long as he's watching she'll be following a plan, And the Batman's lost a wheel, and the Supermarket's steal, and a catholic boy just kneels, and a Super-Villain feels. Could you subjugate your friends, till the end oh till the end, pricking each one in the finger swearing they won't make you cry again, oh you're such a splendid King, sure to do the most good thing, you knight the boys when they please you, invite to bed those women things, oh to never wonder why, clever chaps know you're a lie, oh to never want to know, how it feels to be, without total grip control, Oh what a beautiful face I like the way you take up space, but you'll never be a spectator in his majesty's rat race, you don't live with mom no more and that's the one thing I adore about your life-style choice, can't you hear it in my voice? I'm the King of this here land, I rule the best way that I can, but I always want to cry, cause subjugation's just a lie.
Track Name: Wild Celery
Rumble a Rabbit and Brush Off a Crumb, Stumble a habit and rub out a thumb, Crumble a Tacit and Bumble a Sum, Mumble a Facet 1,2,31
Track Name: Lament of the Rat King
Beautiful Women don't do it for me no More, Beautiful Women Don't do it for me no more, been with so many beautiful girls, the pretty little girls just drain my world oh, Beautiful Women don't do it for me no more. Pretty Old men can't train me out my pen, Beautiful Men can't turn me out my pen, been with so many beautiful boys, the pretty little boys just drain my joy oh, Beautiful Men can't stir me out my pen. Ragged old rats that's where my head is at, Ragged old rats that's where my head is at, been with so many raggedy rats, the ragged old rats just kiss me back oh, ragged old rats just do it for me for sure.
Track Name: Nature
All I want is to change from a boy into a girl without being made fun of. All I want is change from a girl into a boy without being made fun of. Without fuckin assholes making fun of me, all I want is a persona that will thoroughly set me free. And what's it to you anyway? Meaningless work is gay.
Track Name: Pathetic Existence Guy
Do you think I'm Pathetic? My Identity's a house of cards and you got up for a drink, the displaced air knocked it down, Do you think I'm pathetic?
Track Name: Chortle Kiss Castration Hymn
And when he kisses me I close my eyes, and when she kisses me I close my eyes, And when I kiss her, I'm laughin' inside, And when he kisses me I'm laughin' outside
Phone calls, 16 waterfalls, I opened them up, I got a surprise, Tiled Walls, Blood red shower stalls, I never understood till now, how someone could wanna die, so when she kisses me I open my eyes, and when he kisses me I open my eyes, And when I kiss her, I'm cautious inside, and when he kisses me, I need to know why, Plaid skirt halls, the looks are all apalled, I choke em right up, I tell em 16 lies, I still daydream, I don't know what that means, I don't know if I'm good, I just wanna try, forfeit just to quit, forfeit, just to quit, forfeit just to quit, forfeit just to quit, so when he kisses me I close my eyes, and when she kisses me I close my eyes, and when I touch her I'm UNVILIFIED, and when I touch him I castrate his lies
Track Name: Clown Penis
(by Sam & Will)

Oh Baby my Clown Penis is really disgusting, Oh Baby my Clown Penis is large and it's really gross now, Oh Baby don't you dare touch it or you'll pick up a disease now, Oh Baby it's kinda large kinda gross kindahhh! Oh Baby My Clown Penis is here because I saw the Penis of a Clown, Oh Baby the year was 1996 it was in Rhode Island, Oh Baby I went backstage at the time of the Rodeo (?) Oh Baby there was a clown man and he showed me his clown penis
Track Name: Trust Your Baby
With a slightly different body in your arms a slightly different brain with slightly different charms, oh does it cover everything that's wrong with how you burnt the bridge you just walked on and here I am all I can do is form my version of the truth left in a hole to sort it out no explanation for what anything was about, I'll just sulk and moan till I forget why I ever wanted love at all. Oh you sulked and you moaned anyway, anytime I smiled faced the other way can't I have a life that is my own? Do I have to be your wife whenever you want to bone? Let go of my hands I want to live I can't resign myself to this hole you're in, you loved me when I needed it now that time has passed now I'm sorry.
Track Name: It's Horny Goat Weed, Bro
You're a walking billboard and the companies are mad, they'll kill you where you stand if they see you acting sad, so go out there and fuck boy and tell em all why, keep them hanging on a long thread, stretching to the sky, there is nothing left boy there's no one left to do, but when the executives can watch you they'll keep you in the mood, a nice big baby bottle, horny goat weed to the brim, they'll let you lay with anyone as long as they're let in, they'll watch you while you fuck boy they'll spy you as you sleep, the condom drapes your mind boy your seman they will keep, the microscopic secrets for conglomorates to know, they'll take you down to nowhere they'll let you stage a show, and no one there will matter and no one there will see, and no one will grow older and no one will be me, and no one there will listen and come to understand, new ways of interaction that aren't quite so bland, but the day will soon come when no one will want to eat, he'll yearn for that doritos bag the companies sell cheap, and he'll start laying bricks down to build a brand new home, no wilderness around for no wild things to roam, just a little house on a dark dead pavement hill, but no one will be pleased and he hopes that grow he will, in some strange way that matters in some strange way that's good, so someone can adopt him and find out how he should FEEL!
Track Name: Support Our Fagget Troops
Have you ever had a dream while you were awake, and then you woke up and told your Dad you were gay, then you woke up again and it wasn't true, your whole life was a joke and the joke was on you, Have you ever lit a bomb in a public place? Have you ever had a dream you didn't have a Race? Have you ever had a dream that war was fun? Have you ever had a dream where you hurt someone? You hurt someone. Have you ever had a dream where you'd talk to God he'd say "hi how's it going" and you'd smile and nod, and then when you woke up, you'd wondered and laughed and said "God was just another dream with a checkerboard past". Now you cut it all up and put it in a bag, then pick 5 words out: (God) (calls) (you) (a) (fag). Well my only dream in life is to snuff this dream out, I'll kill certain people for God, and God will be proud. Have you ever had a dream that war was fun? Have you ever smiled as you hurted someone? You hurt someone. Poor baby hurt someone. Have you ever had a dream that you didn't hate? Have you ever met a dream that you tried to debate? Your whole life is a dream and you'll never awake ::POP:: Have you ever had a dream where you chose your own fate? You chose your own fate.
Track Name: Breaking a Bottle
Cantelope Choke, Rent a Boat Elope, Mesmerize Three Eyes, Supervise my Lies, Thimble Train, Choo CHoo Choo, Rent a Brain You're Coo Coo Coo, Lumbertown Fake it fast, Hair Is Brown make it last, I'm Breaking a Bottle clink clink clink. Roll the Die down the Lane a Festival of Luck or Pain, Hear the old Guy Sing his Song, Watch the Young Girl Think She's wrong, 123 (wilhelm scream) Breaking a Bottle Smash Smash Smash! Shattered Glass everywhere, Fuck all of their Truth we all choose dare
Track Name: Invisible Lines, Invisible Faces
Israilie Prime Minister of Everything, fuck us as we wait in the purgatory wing, you're calling out to everyone, All is never God, and God is never one, what a surprise I look into those eyes, every imaginary line you draw's a fucking lie, I know nothing's complete and I know you gotta eat, but what's the use in walking when you have to watch your feet, when it's God vs the McDonalds Diety who are you gonna choose, if we only race ourselves then we can never lose, Big Chief Muslim Prophet Man just sprouts another lie, the only time you'll get off's when your brain is not alive, the walmart mosque has discount paddles so justly beat your wife, because she looked you in the eye and said there's no such truer life, Big Pope Jonnie Paul's on his 10th strait glass of blood. the women never cared too much about his holy love, pray just for the nice young boys now pray pray pray pray pray, show 'em how God loves us all and make your holy day. Just kidding guys thanks for supporting indie rock acts like me
Track Name: Call of Duty II
Hiroshima Booth Babes baca baca chin chin, Explode around your red leather bra, fly a plane into a home and fuck against the law, plug all of your joys into the wall, you have a thousand lives and your brain is in a jar, Hiroshima Booth Babes baca baca chin chin, You can change your costume in the hall, kiss another pizza face keep bouncing those big balls, head honcho game designer wants to call, you and perma-silhoettes to partty near a wall. stupid stupid dick dick explosion
Track Name: You are Supposed to Be Your Government
Everything sucks we all had a laugh about it, we all trust the math without it, we wouldn't know, there's puny Giants stabbing Angels in the snow, And I need blood just to make every light bulb glow, and I can chill inside this citadel of gold, And there's a million there outside but I won't fold, because I have faith they can't decide shit on their own, And I will never let all of my frightened knots unfold, I'll live forever and they'll love me in the cold, It'll be the single greatest story ever told.
Track Name: David Icke & the Terrified Collective Unconscious
I'll run Naked through a Suburban county street, playing saxomaphone and moving quickly on my feet, just to say something I can not say to your eyes, just to show something that's less than shrinkwrap, shrinkwrap and LIES! I'm over the hill I got a bucketful of toucans glaring at me, there's nothing left but a glowing talking box and it's not even free, oh no one cares and it's my fault what a mess, I wasn't made for this world I should have stayed in the other one, I should've been a girl, no one talks to me like a person anymore, I just juggle my words and hope they're not offended, I hope I'm not a bore and It's all about me I can't leave this body, when will I wake up? Yea it's all about you you can't leave this body, when will you wake up and join the green party?
Track Name: Families Broken Ashtrays
Families Broken Ashtrays, and a cloud drains, a cloudy vision of the world, a human heart forgets to generate new cells, and all the tangents fail to ever meet again the common end just seams forever down the bend, Families Broken Ashtrays, and a cloud drains, A silly ball rolls down a hill, oh what a service what a thrill, you'll criticize until the cows all walk away you hear one say I hope she'll be ok someday. Families Broken Ashtrays, and a cloud drains, A clear eyed vision of the self, the village heart remembers what is good again, and all the tangents start to learn how to pretend the common end is spotted somewhere down the bend.
Track Name: Jay Leno & His Magical Lamp
Jay Leno adopted 15 kids in the dead of night, Jay Leno adopted 15,000 kids in the dead of night, Jay Leno found one of the only Magical Lamps in the fucking world. Jay Leno adopted 15,000 kids in the dead of night
Track Name: Astro Graff
Mi mi mi mi, I'll just face the wall, playin' bass with Hall & Oates & Saul, bellowing out some air into a bag, I'm always on the rag, don't come here just to nag or lag or drag or sag, dark bright curtains down, I'm laying on the ground I can't tell that it's round, YODEL WOMAN. She laughs and grins with a smile, I'd walk a thousand miles to throw her in a pile of leaves, in the breeze there's 15 colored trees, autumnal on the moon, let's tag that flag real soon, YODEL MAMMA
Track Name: Castle Catching
Caught in a castle, caught in a castle with a sewing machine, cross from the chapel, I can hear you cackle I can hear you scream: "What a hassle to be sewing a seam, what a hassle to be living a dream!" Catching a castle Catching a castle with a shredding machine, would you like to wrastle? I'll let you pin me down just to make a scene, What a hassle, what a hassle to be tearing a seam, what a hassle detonating a dream, Fasten your tassle, fasten your tassle to a fat oak tree, then give me all your cash, one needs a certain amount just to be like me, I'm just sitting in my castle with an insane cackle just a-threading my dream, and it ain't no hassle, it ain't no hassle detonating the seams.
Track Name: The Ramble Train
The Ramble train awaits, it's a gamble no debates, granpa wants to come but he's too old to ride, cranium jams abound, it's bland without that sound, my hemroids are really into killing cops, oo, oo, I love you can't you see? You're the only one who loves me. The only one I want that doesn't own a gun. Baby, baby die, why are you out to cry? Out to cry for the only man on earth. oo, oo. Yodeling is fun, you can do it without a gun. You can but it's dangerous in these parts. oo oo oo oo.
Track Name: Anarchy
And you can do the coloring, red blue yellow do something, and I can't tell you what to play, and you can't tell me how to sing, and we can sing and play all day and you can do the coloring, And you can do the coloring, red blue yellow do something, and I can't tell you what to play, and you can't tell me how to sing, and we can sing and play all day and you can do the coloring.